Death and Desire
by The Lady J
Summary: Jasper finds Bella in the forest bleeding after Edward leaves in NM. For the Love of Jasper contest
1. Chapter 1

"**For the Love of Jasper" One-Shot Contest**

**Title: Death and Desire**

**Pen name: Jasper's Dark Angel**

**Existing work: There is Fault in our Truth and Make Me Love You**

**Primary Players: Jasper and Bella  
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**Disclaimer: I own nothing but I wish I did**

**To see other entries in the "For the Love of Jasper" contest, please visit the C2:  
www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/community/For_the_Love_of_Jasper_Contest/72564/**

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**A/N This one Shot is For Jasper's Darlin Kathy, who's name really should be on this as well. We worked on it together but she wouldnt allow me to post it under our combined pen name Jaspers Dark Darlin Angels. This One shot is also for JaspersDestiny who actually gave me the idea for the Lemon over a month ago. **

**I also want to thank my beta's Cullen818, Jaspers Izzy, Jaspers Darlin Kathy with out you 3 I wouldn't have actually finished it. A very special thanks goes out to Naelany, who took this o/s and helped me turn it into something worth reading. She stuck with me and read draft after draft till i finally got it right. All of my beta's are amazing authors and if you haven't had the pleasure of reading their stories I strongly implore you to.**

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I wandered around the forest for a long time after Edward left. It felt like a fog had washed over me. I couldn't see where I was going and couldn't understand where I was. It felt like I was moving in slow motion. Everything around me was going by so fast yet I was standing still. Nothing was touching me, nothing meant anything to me. I was numb. I couldn't even cry, in my heart I knew that Edward was right; I was no good for him. I was never good enough for a creature as amazing as him.

I should have expected this. I should have known that he was going to leave me. How could I be so stupid to think that someone like Edward would want to keep someone as plain as me around? I was stupid and arrogant for thinking he could ever truly love someone like me, that any of them could love me. A human; just the thought of a vampire falling in love with a human makes me laugh out loud as I continue my track through the forest. Why was I even following him? He was gone and there was no way I would ever catch him, but which one was I hoping to catch? And if, by some chance, I did catch him, what would I say? Please don't go? Take me with you? I'll try to be less human. Yeah right, the fact of the matter was, he was gone, he would never come back and no matter how much I fought it, I couldn't do anything about it. He wasn't just leaving me either, he was taking the whole family away. He was taking my family away, but most importantly, he was taking Jasper away. Yes, Jasper had tried to eat me not more then three days ago, this was true, but it didn't change the way I felt about him. I had for so long tried to ignore my feelings for the blond God, but in the wake of him leaving I could no longer deny that I was as in love with Jasper as I was with Edward, if not more. He had always been the strong silent one, the one the family looked to for strategy, and Alice's backbone. I knew he would never love me, never feel the same for me that I felt for him, and he, after all, loved Alice with his undying breath. I knew that what he wanted from me was only my blood, that he was a blood hungry animal that would only ever see me as a food source and not something to love, but that didn't change the way I felt. Thinking about losing him made my pain double and I almost fell to the forest floor screaming.

I looked up as I felt something wet hit my cheek. It was starting to rain, that was no shock. What shocked me was the fact that sometime while I had been walking, night had fallen. I could no longer see in front of me, but that didn't stop me from moving forward. I was starting to get pissed. I didn't know where this anger was coming from. It felt so foreign to me. Almost as if…

I stopped in my tracks and looked around. He couldn't be here; Edward had said that he had left with Alice. There was no way Jasper could be in the forest right now. No way he had decided to come after me, to finish what he had started. I saw nothing as I looked around but that didn't surprise me. It was dark and I, with my human sight, couldn't see anything. I heard a deep feral growl and started to run. I knew it wouldn't help, knew that he would catch me but I had to fight. I wanted to die, that was true. Without Edward there was no reason to live, but I didn't want Jasper to live with that guilt. I loved him too much to let that happen. Yes, he terrified me, but only when he was out for blood, and he was definitely out for blood. Even as I was facing my death, I was thinking of others. Not wanting Jasper to catch me, to live with my death on his hands, I continued on, praying that he would come to his senses and see reason. Maybe even abandon his current path and decide to hunt an animal instead of the human running scared. I wanted nothing more than to be back in my bed, sleeping, pretending that the last few days had all been a nightmare. But I wasn't. I was running for my life, I was running like I had never run before. But like all things, there comes a time when you stop running and have to face what's in front of you. I didn't want to, I couldn't face Jasper, knowing that I had brought this on him and myself. I had caused this change in him; it had been my stupid mistake that changed the course of both our lives.

Once again my clumsiness chose to show itself at the worst time, maybe it would have happened to anyone running in a forest in the dead of night, but it happened to me, with a bloodthirsty vampire on my trail. I tripped over something, I wasn't sure what, and landed hard, face down. I threw my arms out to catch myself and as I did so, my bandaged arm skidded across a fallen tree and I cried out in pain as I felt the stitches give and break free from my skin. I knew I had no hope of Jasper abandoning his plan now, as I smelled the familiar copper scent of blood and felt my stomach turn. I rolled over onto my back just in time to see who was lifting me in the air. I stared down into Jasper's pitch-black, soulless eyes and could find no true fear for my life in me. I knew I was finally going to die by the hands of a vampire and it was fitting really. To be in the forest away from all of my friends and family, accepting my fate I exhaled sharply and looked into the face of my killer. He was beautiful, some would say more beautiful then Edward, I would say their beauty was equal in every way. I reached up to touch his face with my injured arm, my fingers gently grazed his forehead and he closed his eyes as a drop of blood from my arm landed on his lip. His pink tongue darted out and licked the small amount of blood from his lip. His tongue looked so soft, I wondered what it felt like. The thought shot all the way down my body and came to rest warmly in my core. As if reading my mind, Jasper grabbed my arm and ran his tongue across the wound. Taking with it the smell of blood and leaving a trail of burning numbness. I was no longer bleeding; his venom had sealed the wound. My stomach was no longer churning with sickness; it was burning with a desire only Jasper had ever created in me. Without thinking I wrapped my legs around Jasper, bringing him to me and attached my lips to his, he responded with a passion I had never felt. His lips were so cold, and smooth like Edward's, but they were so different. His lips were fuller and the simple touch of his skin to mine sent a jolt like an electrical current flowing through my body. His smell was deeper and more masculine, and his taste was woodsy. He licked my lower lip and I granted him entrance. I could taste my blood on his tongue and it made me moan. The thought of blood made me sick but on Jasper it added to my heightened arousal.

Jpov

I sat in a tree far enough away that I knew I wouldn't be detected, but close enough to where I could hear everything that was being said. Edward wouldn't notice me, he thought I had left, but Alice had not wanted me to go with her. She had told me that it was over, that she needed to go her own way. Whatever way that was, it didn't include me. I was fine with that, I didn't want to be with someone that didn't want me, and that hadn't for a long time. So she left me, left for parts of the world unknown to me and the rest of the family. Because of her, I was able to sit in a tree and watch the man I called my brother and the girl I had been finding myself attracted to over the past year, as he broke her heart.

My brother was a fool. He was lying to himself and her about his reasons for leaving. I knew better then he did what he felt. I should; it's what I do. He was leaving her not because he was protecting her, but because he had found someone else. He knew I was going to attack her on her birthday and had been hoping I would succeed; I would have, too, had it not been for Emmett. Neither of us expected Emmett to get so attached to the human. I never expected to get so attached. I was horrified with myself at what I had brought on. All for one drop of blood. One tiny red drop of mouth-watering deliciousness had turned me from the laid back, relaxed southerner I had worked so hard, over the years, to become, into the ravenous monster I had tried to leave behind.

I couldn't think clearly, all I saw was the blood pulsing through her veins and I needed to have it. Needed to feel her life force in my mouth, to taste what she had to offer me. I wanted to use the strength that her blood and her life would give me. I needed to make her mine and I didn't care how I was going to do it. So I had acted on instinct, and lunged at the brunette beauty that had plagued my thoughts from the first time I had laid eyes on her. Edward made a good show at protecting her but I knew it was a ruse. He wanted me to get to Bella and suck her dry just as badly as I wanted to, he even tried to help me by sending her into the broken glass. The more blood, the stronger my need, but Emmett had stopped me. I was thankful for the big brute, more then he would ever know, but that didn't change the fact that I wanted her blood and would have done anything to get it. I still wanted it; I still needed to have her, all of her.

Edward stood there straight faced as he watched Bella's heart break. I could feel her sorrow and pain and willingly took it in as my own. I had caused this. I had done this to her. I was the one at fault for bringing her world crashing down around her, she thought she wasn't good enough for Edward, but the truth was he wasn't good enough for her. None of us were. Hadn't I proved that with my little freak out? I wanted so badly to say I was sorry, to take away all of her pain, but more than that I wanted to feel her blood run through me. To take her life as my own, to claim her in a way Edward never could or would. He didn't want her anymore; he made that clear when he willingly put her life in danger at her party, but I still did. I always would and I always have . She may be his singer but she was more to me than that. Her blood, her body, her heart, her soul, and her emotions called to me and I had to have her, to tell her the truth. The truth about Edward, the truth about her life and about her party, and the truth about me; she needed to know. I needed her to understand, to see me for who I was as a person, not just as the monster that had tried to kill her a few days ago.

After mashing her heart into a million pieces the coward took off, running for his life no doubt. He had to get to his love; he couldn't be away from his mate for too long, God forbid he should let the "love of his life" out of his sight for more then a few hours. I mentally laughed at the idea of the love of his life, hadn't he once said Bella was the love of his life? He was so conflicted most days; I didn't understand how he even knew what love was.

I watched him leave, I watched as Bella tried to follow. Though her heart wasn't really in the search. She was really just wandering, but I followed anyway. Jumping from my perch and landing lithely on the forest floor, I began to run. Not just after Bella, but after my life. This small pathetic human held my life in her hands and she didn't even know it. I would follow her anywhere.

Her pain was all consuming, like a fire running through my veins. It was worse than the pain of transformation. I started to get angry, angry at myself for bringing this pain upon her, angry at Edward for hurting her so badly, angry at Alice for not stopping the birthday party when I asked, saying in her own cryptic way, "This is how it has to be." But most of all I was angry with God (if there was a God), for allowing Bella to become entangled in a world she didn't belong. And I was furious at myself for not being strong enough to let her go.

Bella stopped dead in her tracks; fear and confusion were her most prominent emotions, with lust, desire and excitement thinly veiled underneath all the pain. I reigned in my emotions, fully understanding that she had felt my anger and that I had caused her confusion and ultimately alerted her to my presence.

I growled at my own stupidity, how could I let my emotions take control and get away from me like that? I didn't want her to know that I was near her; I knew it would just scare her and that's exactly what had happened. She was terrified and her fear caused her heart rate to pick up, the blood flowing faster through her veins and she started to run. Bella running was never a good idea. I didn't know what was going through her head but I felt her sorrow, guilt and fear swirl around her as she ran. I wanted to stop her, to tell her I wasn't going to hurt her and as I caught up to her she tripped over a fallen tree and fell forward. As her body came to a rest my vision clouded, I could smell her blood, her stitches had torn free from her skin and her blood was being pumped out through the re-opened wound. Her heart rate accelerated as I picked her up. I wasn't sure what I was going to do. I was fighting with myself. All of my instincts were warring with each other. My vampire ones screaming snap her neck and drain her and my wants and needs as a man begging for a release only this small woman could grant me. Her lust and desire were not helping with my control either. As she reached her hand out and stroked my forehead a small drop of blood landed on my lip and I couldn't fight it any more. I had to know the taste of her blood. To see if it tasted as sweet as it smelled. My tongue darted out of its own volition, it was like my mind had been wiped blank and all I could focus on was that one little taste of blood. That little drop wasn't enough, it sent my body into a frenzy I had not felt in decades, I needed more, and it was so sweet. I grabbed her arm and ran my tongue along the wound, sealing it with venom. Her blood was no longer flowing from her body and my mind began to focus again. I couldn't believe I had let myself lose control for even those few seconds. I tried to pull back to get an idea of what was going on in Bella's head, but her emotions were surrounding me, smothering me like someone had wrapped a plastic bag around my head and I had no way of getting away from it. I tried to will my body to move, I needed to get away before I did something we would both regret and just as I was about to release her, her legs encircled my waist and with a strength I didn't know she possessed she pulled me to her and crushed her lips to mine. Her lips we so soft and warm. I had never kissed a human like this before and I needed more. I ran my tongue along her lower lip and she granted me entrance. Our tongues fought for dominance and she let me win. I explored her mouth like I had never kissed a person in my life. I needed to remember this, because I was sure it would never happen again.

"Ung, Jasper please." She begged as I pulled away my mouth and ran my tongue along her collarbone.

"Please, what Bella? What do you want?" I asked in a husky tone that didn't sound like my voice.

"You, Jasper. I want all of you, inside of me. Please," She whimpered, as I attached my mouth to hers once again. Her wish was my command and it wasn't like I could stop myself anyway.

BPOV

He pushed me up against a tree. I felt his erection against my thigh and I ground my hips into him. I needed the friction and he willingly ground his erection into my core. He released my lips and moved to my neck, licking and sucking on my pulse point. My mind was screaming at me not to let this happen, but my body was all too willing and ready to allow not only the feelings I had for Edward to disappear, but also all my concerns for Alice. I was sure she could see what was happening, had she wanted to stop it she would have. I had seen that little pixie go to great lengths to stop the future from coming true, but this, this she surely saw and she hadn't done anything to stop it. Why? Why hadn't she tried to stop this, why would she allow Jasper to be here in the forest with me when only two possibilities were likely outcomes of this chance encounter? Could I be wrong about her seeing this, or maybe she just didn't care? How could she be willing to give up on Jasper, I thought she loved him. Well I thought Edward loved me, looked like it was a day of discovering false love. Was there even such a thing as love? If Edward and I couldn't make it, if Jasper and Alice could go their own ways and if through everything that had happened throughout the year my mind still didn't know which vampire I wanted, was love even real? My mind said fuck it, fuck Edward and fuck Alice, they abandoned us in our time of need and good riddance. Jasper was here and he was willing to be with me, he wanted me like I wanted him. He felt so good pressed up against me. His hands moved to my shirt and ripped it off, his cold touch stinging my overly warm skin. He made short work of my bra and attacked my breasts. I gasped, it was a feeling I wasn't familiar with but I liked it, thankfully my gasp didn't stop him, if anything he attacked with more fervor. His hands moved down to my jeans and before I could even imagine what was happening he ripped my jeans and panties off. This was not how I imagined my first time, but this was what I wanted, and I couldn't find it in me to stop. He plunged his long and cold fingers into me and I cried out, it was shocking and a little painful but the euphoric pleasure was masking that, and again he ignored my cry and kept pumping them in and out of my core and oh the pleasure I was feeling. I pulled him back to my lips and I could feel him undoing his jeans. I felt his erection on my thigh and holy shit it was huge. He continued to kiss me and I moved so I could breathe.

"Jasper, when this is over, will you turn me? Make me yours forever?" I asked, unsure how he would take it. He pulled back for a moment and looked into my eyes, searching for something. I wanted him, like I had never wanted anyone in my life. More than I had wanted Edward, and if Alice didn't want him anymore, then I would gladly take this gorgeous God-like creature off her hands. He must have found what he was looking for, because he leaned in and with his lips pressed against my ears and whispered, "It would be my pleasure, Darlin', I am never going to give you up."

He attacked my neck and placed his cock at my entrance. I knew this wasn't going to be gentle or soft and I didn't want that. I wanted this to be rough. I needed it to be hot, angry, lust filled fucking.

JPOV

I could feel her nervousness, determination, want and her lust for me, but all I focused on was the lust. I positioned my dick at the entrance of her pussy and thrust in until I was fully sheathed. She cried out and I felt her pain. I sent her a wave of lust and absorbed as much of her pain as I could. I stilled inside of her for just a second letting her relax and then began pounding into her. I had her pinned up against the tree thrusting my dick into her with everything that I had. I was careful not to hurt her, but I didn't slow down and I sure as fuck wasn't going to take it easy. She was moaning my name and clawing at my shoulders. I could smell the blood from when I broke through her barrier, but I didn't care about that. All I cared about was her hot, tight pussy wrapped around my cock. I stopped thrusting and unwrapped her legs and placed her on the ground. I moved her to where she was on her knees and I got behind her and thrust into her. I grabbed her hips to hold her steady and pounded into her hard and deep. She was screaming out with her pleasure and I could feel our orgasms approaching. I hit her with a powerful wave of lust and she cried out, "Jasper!" As I bit into her neck, I thrust a few more times and emptied my seed into her. I drank deeply from her neck and moved to her ankles, her skin popped under my teeth as her blood flowed into my mouth and my venom pushed out. I rolled her over and bit her wrists. She had a beautiful smile on her face and her emotions were that of gratitude. She looked beautiful covered in a light sheen of sweat. The venom was going to start taking affect soon and we needed to get out of the forest and away from Forks before her screaming started. I picked up her naked body and began to run.

I ran for two hours before I came upon an empty house. We couldn't stay long, we just needed clothing. The state of our naked bodies would not be accepted in society and we needed to get to some place secluded before the screaming started. I found what I was looking for and left, making sure to leave enough money to cover what I had stolen. I had grabbed my wallet from my shredded pants before leaving Forks. Once fully dressed I began to run again, making my way across the Washington border and into Oregon. I found an abandoned house off of North Interstate Avenue in North Portland, I was glad to be out of Washington, the wolves would no doubt want to tear my throat out once they found out what I had done to Bella, but I was finding it difficult to feel bad for turning her. Bella was what I wanted, I had known that for a while, but I hadn't been able to do anything about it.

Bella wasn't a screamer like I had expected. The three days passed in relative quiet. She would whimper every now and then and I would send her calming waves, but other than that she endured the burn very well.

Three days of watching Bella suffer had been enough for me to realize just how I felt about the amazing creature that had trusted me with not only her body but her blood as well. I could have easily lost control of my blood lust and drained her with out her ever knowing it. Her faith and trust in me meant more to me than was inhumanly possible. She was everything Alice could never be and I finally understood that Alice wasn't my mate, Alice was just a way to my mate. I found my mate, in the forest, heart broken just three days ago. If she would have me, I would make Bella mine for eternity. I never wanted to let her go. On the third day her eyes opened and they were the most beautiful red I had ever seen. I had seen many newborns in my day but she was the most stunning of them all. Her brown hair was shiny and wavy and hung down to her mid back. She was taller too, around 5'7 now. She looked around, taking in the grimy walls and burnt orange bedspread. I felt her confusion and then as suddenly as it came it was replaced by comprehension. "Jasper?" her voice spoke in my head, and I looked at her, shocked.

"Yeah Bella, it's me, can you talk?" I asked.

"Yes, Jasper, I can talk. Why?" She didn't know she had spoken to my mind? Now was not the time to get into special powers and all that supernatural shit. I just wanted to know she was okay and to see what she had planned for herself. This wasn't how she had expected to become a vampire and I needed to make sure she was okay with the way things had happened.

"How are you feeling Bella? I know this is all new to you and not at all how you had thought it was going to happen, and for that I am sorry, but I need to know how you are feeling." I may have been asking her how she felt but really, I was asking, no begging her not to leave. To love me the way I loved her.

"Can't you feel my emotions Jasper?" the question took me off guard, I had been too caught up in what was going on to notice that her emotions were weak. Normally I could read her emotions, but now they were muddied. It was like trying to look through a glass of thick beer, you could make out the shapes but you couldn't tell what the shapes were.

"Not really, Bella. Can you tell me what you're feeling?" This was probably the longest conversation I had ever had with Bella, but I was hoping it wouldn't be the last.

"I am so happy right now Jasper. I can't believe I am here, with you. Tell me this is real. I'm not dreaming, I am really a vampire and I am really with you, right?"

"Yes Darlin', this is real. You are really here with me, and if you'll have me, you're mine for eternity." Her face broke into a wide grin and she leapt into my arms.

"Oh Jasper, thank you. I love you." She said as her lips found mine. Her words made my heart soar.

"I love you too, Darlin'." I said, as I pulled her down on to the bed with me. I wanted to make love to this wonderful woman over and over again. I didn't care what happened to my life as long as Bella and I had each other, we could handle whatever life had in store for us.

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**I hope you enjoyed that. I worked very hard on it. Please tell me what you thought, I want all kinds of feedback on this. Reviews are like Jasper always wanted and always needed.**


	2. Chapter 2

A very special AN!

So I wanted to thank all of you for reading and reviewing this story. I am shocked and awed that it got the amazing response that it did. I am also super proud to tell you all that my story made it to the voting round of the contest For The Love of Jasper. Out of 132 amazing stories they thought mine was good enough to make it to the voting round. I totally SQUEE'd like a fan girl when I saw that.

I am not asking you to vote for my story (unless you feel that is belongs in the second round) but I am asking that you vote. www(dot)fortheloveofjasper(dot)com.

Thank you again for all of you who reviews and a big thanks to the For The Love Of Jasper contest for making a writer feel good while dealing with a bouncy two year old and morning sickness.

So I am sending you all a very sexy Jasper in Leather looking like he just stepped out of Grease because today that mental image makes me happy.

~Jess


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